When you connect with others, you’re always sending and receiving nonverbal messages. These wordless messages happen both when communicating in person and digitally. Have you ever wondered what a punctuation mark in an email meant? Have you wondered why someone was using the read receipt function? Steve Woods, author of Digital Body Language - Deciphering Customer Intentions in an Online World, defines digital body language as the sum of all the digital activity you observe from a person.
Erica Dhawan, author of Digital Body Language, focuses on how humans rely on body language to connect and build trust and the disruption we experience from communicating behind a screen. Dhawan surveyed almost 2,000 office workers and found that over 70 percent of them experienced some form of unclear communication from colleagues.
Dhawan says careful reading is the new listening, clear writing is the new empathy and a phone or video call is the equivalent of a thousand emails.
In the digital workplace, it’s not necessarily geographical distance that is problematic. A remote team that communicates well will feel more connected than a group in the same building that gets into conflict when communicating.
Each time we choose to communicate with colleagues or clients in writing, there is a risk of digital disconnect because it’s very easy to misinterpret written communication or misuse the channel of communication.
Focus on these three areas to up your digital body language and improve how you communicate in the workplace.
Approach writing digital correspondence carefully
- Determine which digital communication medium is best. Many workplaces use multiple channels or platforms for digital communication. Many of us have to decide whether to reach out to someone by text, email, videoconference or via another platform such as Slack, ClickUp, Basecamp or Asana. Base these decisions on the message’s urgency, complexity and audience. Many workplaces set guidelines for their staff to help them determine when to use the different forms of digital communication available within that workplace.
- Don’t confuse brevity with clarity. It’s never a good feeling to receive an email or message that simply says, “Call me,” or, “We need to talk.” Similarly, if a coworker or boss replies to a group email with a short answer or a vague, “???”, tempers can flare or feelings can be hurt. Low-context emails are cryptic and create confusion. Your recipient will most likely overthink and feel stressed as they try to fill in the blanks.
- Check your tone. Experts say that when we talk to someone in person, nonverbal body cues account for three-quarters of the communication. Without these cues, it’s hard for others to read emotions in digital communication. For example, all-caps can feel like an angry rant. If you’re rushing and don’t take time to start with a salutation, provide extra context or end cordially, the email might be taken as terse or even rude. In addition to always proofreading for grammatical errors, take a minute to consider the tone of your digital communication. Could it be interpreted differently than you intend?
- What to consider when adding emojis or punctuation. Some people will use emojis, text shorthand (LOL or SMH) or punctuation (“I’m sooooooooooooo sorry to ask this!!!!) to try to convey emotion in digital correspondence. This kind of informality can be very effective when you have an established connection with someone. Consider the benefit of saying thank you with a smiley face if a longtime coworker has helped you or of hitting the “thumbs up” icon during a videoconference call when you agree with someone. Otherwise, if you don’t have an established rapport, be more careful because the tone might be misinterpreted or the style seen as unprofessional or insincere.
Read, respond to and create digital correspondence with care
- Slow down to really read written correspondence. When rushed or under deadline pressure, many of us will quickly read a digital message. Scanning text isn’t the same as reading it carefully, and often leads to misinterpreting directions, missing details or misunderstanding what’s being communicated. Take time to read – really read – what someone says. If you’re unclear about any details, ask for clarification. Reading carefully and responding thoughtfully shows you care about the communication and the person communicating.
- Assume the best intent in others when they communicate digitally. Recognize people may have been busy and rushed to communicate something. Try not to assume the worst about what they’re saying or how they’ve said it. If you’re not sure, ask them privately and in a non-confrontational way if they could clarify X or Y. Don’t respond hastily or irritably as things can quickly escalate.
- Make the most of the subject line or first few words. If you’re sending an email, use the subject line to indicate if it’s just informational (FYI – no need to reply), urgent (reply needed today or in 4 hours) or not urgent (reply requested by X day re: Y project). If it’s a text or message via another platform, lead with the timeline and key message, then give more context or detail.
Demonstrate that you value others and build trust
- Consider carefully whether your subject is better communicated by phone, virtual meeting or in person. Are you sending an email or text to avoid having an essential conversation? Our executive coaching friends at Padraig like to reframe difficult conversations as essential conversations. Difficult or sensitive subjects in particular are typically better communicated with a conversation rather than an email. Receiving an email about something contentious or upsetting can feel much worse than having a conversation about it. If documentation is needed, you can always follow-up the conversation with an email that summarizes what was discussed.
- Use digital body language to cultivate relationships and connection. When you are in contact online, make the most of demonstrating how you value and appreciate coworkers and clients. Respond in a timely manner, craft thoughtful correspondence and use digital tools like messenger chat to reach out with authentic feedback like, “I understand you” or “I agree”. The deeper your connection becomes, the more easily you will be able to communicate.
- Show people that you respect their time. Don’t double-book meetings, prioritize your schedule over other people’s during the scheduling process, let conference calls run overlong, send “urgent” emails that aren't actually urgent or allow useless recurring meetings to stay on the calendar. Make certain you’ve copied the appropriate people (including people needlessly is a huge time waster). Cut out needless back-and-forth correspondence. Before you send an email or digital message, check that you have communicated what you need and explained the timeline clearly or replied with the information requested of you.
